Still Recovering…

It’s been a very tiring day for me and for the rest of the team. I am sure that every students and teachers are finding meaning in doing this. I feel my effort in coordinating this project has not gone to waste. There’s so much learning taking place today, with the students and the teachers as well. But I am really very tired after the day. I am still recovering. Don’t think I have fully recovered and I am really very concern and have been thinking of the many things that I have to face when I go back to Singapore. I am praying for a lot of courage to face them. I know it’s not easy for me and its also not easy for people whom I have hurt during my moment of distress and depression. I am praying for God to prepare me for any outcome and give me the grace to accept whatever that may come my way. I know that it’s not easy for both sides and I recognize that it will take a miracle for a reconciliation. I don’t know how this miracle can happen but I am trying very hard to leave this to God. I am trying very hard to leave the outcome to God. Why? Because on one hand, I would like to see a particular outcome out of this issue, and on the other hand, I don’t know if that is what God wants for me. After all I have hurt people who have been my pillars and help during my most difficult time. I have hurt people who have been an encouragement and comfort to me. How can I ever do such a thing? How can I ever allow my heart to run wild and result in this consequence? I pray to God for mercy. That’s why I am feeling very painful. I have hurt people whom I don’t have the slightest intention to hurt. However, because of my moment of foolishness, I have allowed my heart to take over and now….sigh!

I need God to help me with this.

the gatekeeper

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