I am not too sure since when I frequent Starbuck and do my blogging there. It’s becoming my favourite hideout and a place that I try to regain my sanity after a day’s work. I guess I am influenced by the young people who would bring their laptops and laze their times there, surfing the net and sharing their ideas with one another. I actually prefer to do this alone and really shut myself off and consolidate my thoughts. I think this is my way of releasing one whole day’s of tension and trying to be myself. I really don’t know how much I have contributed to the success of the American’s Starbuck. I love my ice brewed Zen tea…my all time favourite. Well, actually, I started with this tea because there’s basically nothing much in Starbuck that I can drink. Everything else is so sweet and is deadly for a diabetic patient like myself. But as times went by, I have grown to like this tea and it has become my favourite. I don’t know if this is the same for my stay with my school? It may not be as nice as drinks like cafe mocha or ice cafe latte, but as times go by, I will learn to appreciate the taste of Zen tea. Let me stretch further…it doesn’t matter whether I appreciate Zen tea or not….I can only drink this. That sounds rather tragic actually.
I had the chance of sharing with one of my colleagues on what I have been doing in Vietnam with the kids in Cai Be Province. I was telling him how visiting these kids have helped to maintain my sanity as a teacher. How each time I visit them, I rediscover the purpose of education and what it means to me as a teacher. As a matter of fact, they have helped me more than I have helped them. Education for many of them there is a priviledge and not a given. Over here, education has become a given. Once you have reached a certain age, your parents will just enrolled you with a primary school and there you begin your journey as a student. However, over in Cai Be, education does not come easy. For many, they may not even have taste how education is like. It is this thought of bring education closer to these kids that helps to rekindle the fire in me. Everytime when I know that someone gets to continue his or her education because of our contribution, it makes me once again a teacher.
I don’t understand why I don’t feel the same over here. I don’t feel that education has such deep meaning here in Singapore. No matter how we try to package our own Singapore’s brand of education, Still in our action, very few are bringing out the meaning of education. Perhaps, we are too concern with our own grading and making sure that we don’t make any mistake in our daily dealings. Perhaps, we are just too concern about meeting quotas and compromise with the quality of our lesson and times with the students. Perhaps, we have compromised with too many things. Indeed, we have given up alot of things while trying to be ‘professional’.
This morning, I took time to pray to God. I prayed that God will make me the teacher He wants me to be. I asked God to give me the strength and ability to do my work as a teacher well. I know I am not a good teacher but I want to strive to do my best. I know that my best may not be the best for some other…but I will just keep trying. I know that I cannot do all these with my own strength. God is my Enabler and my very present help in times of needs. Every Sunday, when I am in service partaking of the Holy Communion, I will pray that God will allow me to share in His suffering and His glory. I also pray that God will make me a broken bread and a poured out wine to the people around me. I know I am not good at doing all these. But I am striving to be good and towards this goal that the Lord has set for me. I see this as my own Christian manifesto. It is my very personal profession of faith.
I guess that’s all for now….I pray that God will give me a better day of lessons tomorrow, a good day of learning and teaching together with the kids in my school. God be my helper!